Time goes by so fast . . .

Funny how its almost been exactly a year since the last time I wrote . . .I really want to keep this going . . . really write alot & make lots of posts . I want this to be a real blog ! I don't just wanna write once every year ! SMH . so I need to make this a priority !!!

Starting today I'm going on a diet / strict workout plan . . . we'll all just have to stay tuned & see where this goes . . . I hope I lose alot of weight . . . I wanna try it the healthy way for once . Can't wait to see these results . . . Today was HORRIBLE . . . I went through so much drama & heart ache just because everyone wants me to be healthy & fit & . . . BLAH BLAH BLAH . they could all kiss my ass for all I care . . . smh . I can't stand people -_____- I'm gonna lose these 20 pounds for ME ! not for anyone else . fuck everyone else . I plan to lose these 20 pounds soon ! my mom has promised me 400 dollars if I drop this weight lol . that's $20 each pound :D ahhh . . . I'm so excited . . . she said I can do WHATEVER I want with that money . . . & I plan to buy myself the evoo phone . I NEED a phone ASAP . so this weight needs to go away ASAP !
I currently weigh . . . hmmm . . . I doubt anyone will be reading this . . . but I still don't wanna say . . . :/ lol its not even alot . . . it really isn't its actually normal weight . . . I just . . . have very low self esteem & no confidence what so ever . . . so I would never flat out tell anyone my weight . . . smh . . . I need help . . .






one. forty. - ten. twenty four. ten : )

You Make Me Feel. . .

So happy si réel Tu Beau moment de ma vie Une ride dans le temps doux So let's stretch ce truc Let's percer un trou dans le temps Assis là-dedans Deux gays créatures contenu dans notre propre petit monde Le silence semble tellement mieux avec vous Froideur semble beaucoup plus chaud avec vous Je veux baiser ta bouche Cette brosse à aimer Que les couleurs de mon monde Je veux connaître vos goûts Je veux entendre vos sons En ce moment En ce moment, c'est presque En ce moment, c'est presque . . .

Anais Theresa.

"She walks in Beauty, like the night, like cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes..."

Do You Feel My Pain. . .

Do you ever get that feeling in your throat. . .where you feel like your going to throw up?

Well that's the feeling that I currently have, and get every single night.

No one understands the way I feel, the way I act, or how I view the world. I feel like I completely have lost contact or, the basic communication skills with people. Not with all people but I have come to feel that way with most. I can only trust certain people now, with my thoughts, feelings, and life. The one person that I felt as if I could trust, and confide in has broken all trust, this person has been the reason as to why I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to cry, or just clinch the sheets.

This summer I have seen their true colors, and have gotten the opportunity to see them for who they really are. I can no longer be this person's friend and, act as if we can work through the things that have happened out and fix our relationship, I feel like there is NOTHING that can or will be fixed. I look at them and see nothing, I can never trust them again. . .This person doesn't know exactly how I feel about this situation, but they will soon know that this is not how I plan carrying on with our relationship, and I refuse to have a person in my life who just blatantly walks all over me, and isn't a good person. As much as they say they are a good person, and put on a act for the world, I know the truth. . .and in the end EVERY ONES true colors come out.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, I happen to be the complete opposite but, I want to change, not only for me, but for the people I love, I want others to view me as a; fun, inspiring, cheerful, brillant person.

I'm done.

Goodnight & Good luck.

-CoCoMcKenna